“The theory of politeness argues that each adult person has a need for independence and autonomy (negative face) as well as a natural desire to have their actions approved and recognized (positive face). “Face” is usually defined as a person’s public self-image, or a reputation. As people in all cultures strive for independence and appreciation, there is an assumption that people in all parts of the world are concerned with maintaining their positive and negative faces and are aware that all the adult members of society have the same concerns.”
Dr. Oksana Shkurska

Dr. Oksana Shkurska Assistant Professor Rowe School of Business
Scholars have been researching politeness for decades in order to understand its role in communication and its effect on people’s relationships. As human beings, we communicate not only to exchange information, but also to satisfy our basic social needs, including a sense of connection and inclusion, which comes with belonging to a particular group. We need to love and be loved, build and sustain relationships, as well as give and receive empathy. It means we all have the need to connect emotionally with others on a personal level. We need to know that other individuals understand us and take our desires into consideration.
This sense of connection, however, cannot be fulfilled without polite communication, but is politeness expressed in the same way around the globe?
The theory of politeness argues that each adult person has a need for independence and autonomy (negative face) as well as a natural desire to have their actions approved and recognized (positive face). “Face” is usually defined as a person’s public self-image, or a reputation. As people in all cultures strive for independence and appreciation, there is an assumption that people in all parts of the world are concerned with maintaining their positive and negative faces and are aware that all the adult members of society have the same concerns. This is the reason why all societies have the rules of expressing politeness that include demonstrating good manners and appropriate behaviour. What is interesting, however, is that in different cultures, these rules vary due to the cultural preferences in communication styles and politeness strategies.
What do I mean by different communication styles, and how are they related to politeness?
All the cultures are traditionally divided into collectivistic and individualistic. As research shows, people in individualistic cultures prefer a low-context communication style and are more concerned with their own ‘face’. It means that they value direct and straightforward communication without being afraid to offend others. This low-context communication style is opposed to a high-context style in collectivistic cultures, where people are concerned with another people’s face more than with their own public self-image. As a result, they avoid direct confrontation and value indirectness in communication. In these societies, what is not said is more important than what is actually said, and nonverbal clues play a crucial role in communication, adding meaning to the conversation.
Communication style is usually learned from a very young age when it becomes an important part of a person’s cultural identity. This is the reason why people can sometimes react negatively to the messages that do not follow conventional communication rules and therefore do not correspond with their cultural expectations.
The next post will discuss the question, are politeness strategies in contrasting cultures different?