If you are new to the area of positive psychology, check out my previous blogs on the “Psychology of Self-Compassion” and “A Deeper Dive into the Benefits of Self-Compassion” which examined what self-compassion is and the research supporting the efficacy of this practice.
Given that being self-compassionate has a plethora of benefits, in this blog, we will briefly examine how to be self-compassionate.
One of my favorite self-compassion exercises is called the Self-Compassion Break. This can be used at any time of day, and can serve as a quick check-in with yourself, be it during times of distress or reflecting back on a situation.
First, think about a situation that is or has been causing you distress. Recall what you felt physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Next, say to yourself, “This is a moment of suffering.” This phrase captures the mindfulness piece, which is having a balanced awareness on painful thoughts and emotions, rather than over-identifying with them. Alternatives to this phrase can include “This is painful” or “This is stress”—remember to personalize it to who you are or what you feel!
After, recite the phrase, “Suffering is a part of life,” which highlights the common humanity piece (i.e., perceiving one’s experiences as part of the human condition shared by all rather than isolating and separating) in self-compassion. Alternative phrasing may comprise of “I am not alone” or “We all experience suffering.”
Lastly, say “May I be kind to myself” or whatever else you may need to hear right now. For example, “May I give myself the compassion I need” or “May I forgive myself.” The possibilities are endless here—go with whatever feels right to you! This last phrase touches on self-kindness, and if you recall, that is being kind and understanding to oneself when one is suffering or in pain, as opposed to being self-critical.
This exercise is useful as reminder of all the components of self-compassion, in addition to being a quick practice you can use to ground yourself in moments of distress or when you would like to self-reflect.
If you are interested in learning more, check out both guided practices and go-at-your-own-pace exercises.
Time to go out there and be kind to yourself! You are worthy of self-love!
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash
