There’s a common stereotype that it’s harder to find relationships in the 2SLGBTQIA+ community, which could be true for some given a smaller dating pool. Romantic relationships are often linked to loneliness and research has consistently found that 2SLGBTQIA+ people experience greater levels of loneliness and isolation compared to others. But is this actually true? Let’s take a look at 2SLGBTQIA+ loneliness and if it has links to having or seeking romantic relationships.
Loneliness & Mental Health
Research has shown that overall, loneliness is more prevalent and elevated for 2SLGBTQIA+ individuals compared to heterosexual and cisgender people. However, there are many ways that loneliness is measured, including rating satisfaction with relationships and levels of loneliness. Not only that, but there are many ways to define relationships and loneliness, including sexual, romantic, family, community, and social. For example, in my own research we use a scale called the Social and Emotional Loneliness Scale for Adults or SELSA for short. It breaks down loneliness into three types: social, family, and romantic. We had over 500 2SLGBTQIA+ and non-2SLGBTQIA+ people complete this scale and found interesting results that contradict some of the stereotypes about 2SLGBTQIA+ loneliness and relationships. 2SLGBTQIA+ people experienced significantly higher levels of social and family loneliness compared to non-2SLGBTQIA+ as expected. But when compared both groups on romantic loneliness, 2SLGBTQIA+ participants reported similar levels to heterosexual and cisgender participants. At least in this study, it seems that romantic loneliness is not a significant concern among 2SLGBTQIA+ people, instead 2SLGBTQIA+ individuals are experiencing greater challenges building social connections and receiving support from family. Reduced family support is commonly reported among 2SLGBTQIA+ people and is usually attributed to greater rates of family rejection and strained relationships due to identity.
Romantic relationships have consistently been found to be the most impactful protective factor against loneliness. Further, some research has even shown that higher commitment in a relationship can lead to higher satisfaction with life and lower loneliness. Whether it is romantic or any form of loneliness, we do know that sustained loneliness can lead to greater mental health challenges.
Relationships
If 2SLGBTQIA+ people are not experiencing higher romantic loneliness and romantic relationships have a significant influence on overall loneliness, should we not expect 2SLGBTQIA+ people to be in romantic relationships at similar rates to heterosexual and cisgender individuals? That’s more complicated than it seems because of the way data is collected in Canada. According to Statistics Canada, only 20% of heterosexual people are single compared to about 45% among gay, lesbian, and bisexual Canadians. The challenge is that single is defined as never having been married or not currently in a common law relationship, therefore it is hard to tell is there are really differences in the frequency of relationships between 2SLGBTQIA+ and non-2SLGBTQIA+ Canadians. Further, gender diverse Canadians are often excluded in data collection, leading to gaps in our knowledge of relationships and loneliness. More research is needed to better understand the effects of non-marital relationships on loneliness and mental health.
Combatting loneliness can be challenging, people can still feel lonely while surrounded by friends, family, or romantic partners. However, having strong connections with others, feeling supported by others, and having people to turn to when in need have been shown to reduce feelings of loneliness. We may feel lonely in different aspects of our lives, but having meaningful relationships whether with friends, family, partners, or community has positive effects on our mental health and wellbeing.
