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Relationship health: Rescuing the “rough patches”

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Here are some tips for working through any form of relationship problem:

  1. Talk it out: Turn your phones off and have a discussion with your partner, without raising your voice. Focus on ways to improve your relationship for the future instead of dwelling on the past.
  2. Stop the blame game:  Try not to blame each other for contributing to the problem, and instead, be open to each other’s feelings and concerns. Take joint responsibility and work together.
  3. Take it step by step: Fixing problems in relationships takes hard work. Instead of trying to solve it all in one evening, try to tackle one concern or area of a conflict at a time, and celebrate your accomplishments along the way.
  4. Accept the bad and acknowledge the good: Find the best in your partner, and accept them for who they are. Look for the “upside” in things that they do that may annoy you.
  5. Continue the courtship: Do the things that you used to do when you first started dating, like complimenting each other, showing interest in each other’s day, giving gifts for no reason at all and making special effort to say thank you. Try to have some time each week to do something together. These simple actions show how much you value your relationship.
  6. Call in the professionals: Sometimes, seeking professional help when the problems get too tough is necessary. Getting help from a neutral person can help you work your way through issues.

For more information and guidance with health (including relationship health), visit this link to access your free EFAP resources by searching “dalhousie” in the search bar.

Signs of an unhealthy personal relationship

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  1. Poor communication: Expressing your true thoughts to your partner, without insulting them or feeling belittled, is a must.
  2. Jealousy and mistrust: Maintaining friendships with others is an important part of a relationship, and arguments about spending time with others may be a sign of trust issues.
  3. Fear: Feeling anxious around your partner or feeling scared is a good warning sign that your relationship needs repair or is in danger.
  4. Anger issues: Although it’s normal for couples to get angry with each other from time to time, frequent or explosive rage is a red flag.
  5. Unresolved issues: If you have underlying issues that you argue about over and over again, you may need to deal with them in order to put the arguing to an end.
  6. Controlling behaviour: If your partner is making attempts to control your hobbies, career, friendships, or other aspects, it may be a sign of an emotionally abusive relationship.
  7. Overreactions: Aggressive emotional reactions to seemingly small comments or problems can point to anger management issues.
  8. Inequality: A healthy relationship should strive to ensure sharing and caring is a joint effort.
  9. Threats of violence: These can be red flags for domestic violence.
  10. Use of force: If your partner pushes you or restrains you during disagreements, or breaks/throws objects, this can be a sign of domestic violence.

If your partner seems to have become emotionally or physically abusive, it is important to get help now. For more information and guidance with health (including relationship health), visit this link to access your free EFAP resources by searching “Dalhousie” in the search bar on the landing page.

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