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Why I Chose Slow Living Over Hustle Culture (8 Habits To Enjoy Life)

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Excerpted from: https://www.newtraderu.com/2023/05/18/why-i-chose-slow-living-over-hustle-culture-8-habits-to-enjoy-life

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In the era of constant hustle and the pursuit of productivity, I was drawn to a different path. One of less haste and a slower pace, one that I set myself. This is the path known as slow living. An alternative to the fast-paced, stress-filled life that our modern society so often promotes and produces in our lives. It’s an intentional shift in perspective, a choice to prioritize the quality of our moments over the quantity of our tasks.

I work hard each day but do it at my pace, on my terms, and for myself. My top priority is not earning more money and doing more work; it’s doing what I enjoy when I want to and fitting into the context of my complete life. I optimize my life for happiness, ease, and enjoyment, not hustling every minute and hour of the day. Working smart will take you farther than working hard; if you work smart and hard, you will be unstoppable. The key is to turn work into play by focusing on your passions and then doing the work on a schedule that optimizes your work energy. Everyone is different.

 

What Is Slow Living?

Slow living isn’t just about slowing down. It’s about embracing a more intentional and meaningful approach to life. It focuses on quality over quantity, simplicity over complexity, and presence over distraction. By adopting these principles of slow living, we can alleviate our stress and anxiety, inviting peace, joy, and satisfaction into our daily life.

You can cultivate the following eight habits to create more enjoyment in your day-to-day experience. Let’s slow down and focus on what is most important.

1. Practice Mindfulness In The Present Moment

Mindfulness encourages us to immerse ourselves entirely in our current activity. It could be as simple as savoring the taste of your morning coffee, paying attention to the sensation of warm sunlight on your skin, or noticing the rhythm of your breath as you sit quietly. The beauty of mindfulness lies in its simplicity – it requires nothing more than your presence and attention. Mindfulness slows down the pace of our lives and can bring peace as we focus on the present moment escaping the memories of the past and the perceived urgent tasks waiting for us in the future. Be cautious of getting trapped in a lifestyle that is so fast-paced it creates mindlessness.

2. Disconnect From Technology For Set Periods

Unplugging can feel liberating in a world of constant notifications and digital noise. Try setting aside specific times when you step away from screens during the day. It could be during meals, before bedtime, or even a few hours in the afternoon. This daily period of digital detox allows you to connect more authentically with your family and your thoughts. Intermittent digital fasting can give you periods of peace without external noise from social media, emails, texts, and notifications. If you want to slow down, escape your phone.

3. Engage In Relaxing Activities

Pursue activities that bring you joy and relaxation. It might be losing yourself in the pages of a captivating book, tending to your garden, sitting by the pool, lake, or beach, immersing in the soothing melodies of classical music, or engaging in a fun, slow-paced game. These leisure moments are not just pastimes; they are essential to living a balanced and fulfilling life. Diversify your time and life to include enjoyable, peaceful, fun, and relaxing activities. Everyone is different, so choose your personal favorite.

4. Spend Time In Nature Daily

A daily dose of nature can work wonders for your well-being. This could mean a brisk walk in your local park, time at the beach or lake, a mountain hike, or simply enjoying a beautiful sunrise or sunset from your backyard or balcony. Nature can ground us, reminding us of our connection to the world and life cycles. Watching wildlife like birds and noticing the clouds or rain can all be relaxing and slow down the pace of life at any time.

5. Practice Gratitude

Embrace the power of gratitude. Take a few moments each day to reflect on what you appreciate. It could be as important as a loving family or as simple as a delicious meal. Cultivating gratitude can help you to see the abundance in your life, shifting your focus from what’s missing to what’s already there. Gratitude can slow down the mental grind for more when you stop to notice what you already have. Happiness can grow the day you realize you already have more than enough.

6. Maintain Meaningful Relationships

Prioritize relationships that bring joy, support, and understanding into your life. These might be with family members, friends, or a life partner. Relationships are at the heart of our human experience, and nourishing them is fundamental to our happiness and sense of belonging. The inverse of this is getting toxic people out of your life helps reduce suffering exponentially. Bad marriages, bad bosses, and toxic family members are not the path to an enjoyable life at your own pace.

7. Simplify Your Life

Consider decluttering your physical and mental space. Remove nonessential items, commitments, and thoughts that don’t serve your well-being. Creating a more minimalist lifestyle makes room for what truly matters – ease, clarity, and contentment. Focus on what is essential for your happiness and eliminate what is unnecessary or wanted. An enjoyable slow life is not busy with the upkeep and maintenance of many material things.

8. Practice Self-Care

Self-care isn’t an indulgence; it’s a necessity. Pay attention to your mental and emotional health, exercise regularly, nourish your body with wholesome foods, and prioritize restful sleep. Your well-being is the foundation for building a fulfilling and meaningful life. You must slow down enough to be able to take care of yourself. Fast pace lifestyles are dangerous for the bad habits they create, like eating fast food and junk food, a lack of exercise, and destructive paths for stress management like drinking and smoking. With a slow lifestyle, you are the top priority.

Key Takeaways

  • Cultivate mindfulness to experience each moment fully.
  • Schedule tech-free periods for authentic connection with yourself and others.
  • Delve into relaxing activities to restore balance and contentment.
  • Embrace the healing power of nature for grounding and connection.
  • Develop a gratitude practice to shift your perspective towards abundance.
  • Nurture relationships that bring joy and understanding.
  • Simplify your surroundings and commitments to create space for what truly matters.
  • Prioritize self-care as the cornerstone of well-being and fulfillment.

Conclusion

The principles of slow living offer a roadmap to a life of less stress and more fulfillment. By embracing mindfulness, we immerse ourselves in the depth of each moment. By disconnecting from the digital world at times, we forge authentic connections. Inviting relaxation through activities we love, spending time in nature, practicing gratitude, nurturing meaningful relationships, simplifying our life, and practicing self-care all contribute to this enriching philosophy. Each of these elements, when woven together, creates a system of slow living. This suggested strategy is a gentle reminder that life isn’t a race, but a journey to be savored, one beautiful, intentional moment at a time. I escaped the fast-paced life of corporate careers and big-city living long ago and have never had any regrets.

 

Should I chase happiness?

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Reposted from Psychology Today’s 2 ways to exit the happiness hamster wheel for good

Many people come to therapy with a simple concern: “I’m not happy. How can I be happier.” And therapists will tell them, “Well, it’s good that you’re in therapy — that’s a start!”

Of course, it takes time, effort, consistency, and gradual changes in behavior to get from where you are today to where you want to be. But don’t ever think that you’re destined to be unhappy for the rest of your life. That is your mind playing a trick on you. Our minds have a terrible tendency to assume that how we feel at this very moment is how we will continue feeling in the future. But life isn’t like that. There are so many changes happening — both internally (in our body) and externally — that it’s almost never the case that how we feel now is the same as how we will feel in a day, week, month, or year.

With that said, it’s not a good idea to sit around waiting to feel better. It’s also not a good idea to try to ‘think’ our way out of our happiness problem, as it is likely our thinking that has put us in our rut in the first place.

In fact, new research backs this up. A team of psychologists led by Felicia Zerwas of the University of California Berkeley found that people who value happiness to an extreme degree are actually less likely to be happy in the short term and in the long term. The reason for this, they think, is that these people become so preoccupied with their quest for happiness that it leads to disappointment, regret, FOMO, and a host of other negative emotions. According to the researchers, it’s okay to aspire to be happy, but, where people run into trouble, is when they become concerned about happiness.

So, if you shouldn’t chase happiness, what should you do?

Most psychologists will tell you that the trick to feeling happier is by DOING! Doing more of the activities that make you laugh and bring you joy. Grab a coffee or tea with your friends, check out free events with friends or co-workers, or go for a bike ride with someone you know.

Now, you might say, “But I’m an introvert. I don’t like socializing or being around others,” to which a therapist might say, “NO EXCUSE.” Because, sure, we all enjoy a bit of alone time and peace and quiet — but with the emphasis on a bit.

Many studies have shown that socializing with peers is a surefire way to boost your mood. It even benefits those with high social anxiety or those who are more introverted.

The second technique preached by therapists is to focus on mindfulness practices, such as meditation, breathing techniques, or anything that helps you separate yourself from your thoughts and emotions. This will help you not react to every physical sensation of discomfort you feel inside your body. With practice, mindfulness techniques can help you observe your emotions move in and out like waves crashing against the sand.

This might sound weird and confusing, but it’s a common (and self-defeating) thought pattern. It’s like when we criticize ourselves for not being [fill in the blank] enough. The criticism we direct toward ourselves isn’t magically going to turn into the energy we need to make a change or improve our situation. What we need is self-understanding, not self-hate.

So, remember, when you are feeling unhappy, don’t try to ‘think’ yourself out of the problem. Instead, engage in more of the activities that bring you joy — even if you have to force yourself to do them — and build in some mindfulness exercises to help you put space between your thoughts and your emotions.

 

About the author:

Mark Travers, Ph.D., is an American psychologist with degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder and can be found online at Awake Therapy

The most important skill set in mental health

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Excerpted from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/get-out-your-mind/202208/the-most-important-skill-set-in-mental-health

As you might have guessed, there is not just one pathway of change, but many; each supporting people differently in different contexts. The surprising finding, however, is that one single set of skills proved far more commonly effective than anything else. It was more frequently found than self-esteem; support from friends, family, or your therapist; and even whether or not you have negative, dysfunctional thoughts. The most common pathway of change was your psychological flexibility and mindfulness skills. This small set of processes accounted for nearly 45% of everything we know about why therapy works, using the demanding criterion of a successful mediational analysis. When concepts were added that were very similar to psychological flexibility and mindfulness (e.g., self-compassion, behavioral activation, anxiety sensitivity) it soared to nearly 55% of all the successful mediational findings.

The Three Pillars of Psychological Flexibility

We can now say with certainty that psychological flexibility is the single most commonly founded skill of importance to your mental health and emotional well-being. Whether you suffer from anxiety, depression, addiction, or any other kind of mental distress; psychological flexibility helps you deal with these issues more effectively, and move your life in a meaningful direction.

So what does this skill entail? It’s best to think of it as three skills in one.

Pillar #1 Awareness

The first pillar of psychological flexibility is awareness. This means noticing what happens in the present moment: What thoughts show up? Which feelings? And what other sensations can you notice in your body? It also means noticing these things from a more spiritual part of you – your witness or noticing sense of self.

And all of that from the part of you that connects you in consciousness to others.

Pillar #2 Openness

The second pillar of psychological flexibility is openness. This means allowing difficult thoughts and painful feelings – exactly as they are, without them necessarily having to change in any way or form before you can move ahead toward the kind of life you want to live. This part is counterintuitive and often hard to grasp, because people tend to seek therapy precisely to get rid of their negative thoughts and feelings. Unfortunately, the mind does not work this way. Generally, the harder you try to eliminate pain, the more it will control your life. Instead, openness is about dropping the internal fight, allowing thoughts and feelings to be what they are – merely thoughts and feelings – without them needing to control you. Ironically, in that open posture, thoughts and feelings often do change in a more positive direction.

Pillar #3 Valued Engagement

The third and final pillar of psychological flexibility is valued engagement. This means knowing what matters to you, and taking steps in this direction. It involves being in contact with your goals – objectives you want to reach or achieve – and your values – those personal qualities you choose to manifest and be guided by, regardless of a specific outcome. These matters need to be freely chosen, rather than being forced on by others, or mindlessly followed out of custom. But once you have clarity about what matters, you can take action to build sustainable habits that make your life more about what gives it meaning.

And we now know a major part of the answer to the question “why does therapy work?” Very often it works because it establishes greater awareness, openness, and values-based engagement in life.

When you are frustrated at work, you can notice your frustration, allow it to be, and still take steps to complete your assignment. When you are in a fight with your spouse, you can acknowledge the pain, embrace it as a learning opportunity, and build plans to move forward stronger together. Psychological flexibility empowers you to stop fighting yourself, and orient your life in a meaningful direction. It is accessible to you right here and now. And just like any other skill, the more you practice it, the better you will become at it.

The history of science and human development shows that when we have a clear target, we can as a human community learn how to move it. Psychological flexibility and mindfulness are not the only processes of importance in creating mental health but they are the most commonly significant ones.

That gives us all a target for change.

About the author:

Steven C. Hayes, Ph.D., is Nevada Foundation Professor at the Department of Psychology at the University of Nevada Reno and found online:  Steven C. Hayes website for free ACT materials, Facebook, Twitter

Be mindful – not mind full: Five steps to improve your mental health

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Brought to you by our EFAP provider, LifeWorks

“Where did the time go?” This is a common question nearly all of us have thought at some point. Time seems to fly in our busy lives, as we juggle demanding jobs, parenting responsibilities, social commitments and household chores. We can often be so busy that life seems to pass us by. We may fail to see when someone we care about needs our attention, or notice a glorious day or even acknowledge that we may not be living our lives to the fullest.

More people are feeling this way, which is why the practice of mindfulness is becoming increasingly popular. It is a way of pulling us back to the present and living in the moment. Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, Professor of Medicine Emeritus and creator of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, defines it as “paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally – as if your life depended on it.”
Though it has its roots in Buddhist meditation, a secular practice of mindfulness has recently entered the mainstream, in part through the work of Dr. Kabat-Zinn and his Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program, which he introduced in 1979. Since that time, thousands of studies have documented the physical and mental health benefits of mindfulness in general – and MBSR in particular – inspiring countless programs to adapt the model for schools, prisons, hospitals, veteran centres, and beyond.

Five steps to mindfulness
There are many ways to become more mindful and care about your life moment by moment. Five tips are:

  1. Take five minutes each day to stop “doing” and experience “being.” Take a bath, quietly drink some tea, listen to music, meditate or pray. Try mindfulness meditation: sit in a comfortable chair. Empty your mind and focus on your breathing – the “in” breath, then the “out” breath. If your mind begins to wander, refocus on your breathing.
  2. Practice gratitude. Think about things for which you are grateful. This brings your mind to the present moment and the things that are important in your life. Many people find it helpful to keep a gratitude journal in which they write down a certain number of things they are thankful for every day.
  3. Have compassion. When we are feeling stressed and overwhelmed it is easy to think we are the only ones struggling. Having compassion for others makes it easier to think about the positive aspects of our lives.
  4. Accept yourself and others. Stop striving for perfection and berating yourself because you are not perfect. Negative self-judgment damages your self-esteem and how you interact with others. It will also prevent you from taking action to improve your life.
  5. Do not take life’s challenges too personally. When we are confronted with a job loss, the end of a relationship or any difficult situation, we tend to blame ourselves and get stuck in “if only” thinking. This can send us into a state of inaction and depression. Instead, bring things into the present moment by acknowledging your feelings and asking what you are going to do, right now, to move forward.

If you fill every moment of your life with doing things – working, talking, playing on the computer, running errands – you may never give yourself a chance to simply be. Simply sitting and smelling the coffee isn’t just pleasant, it is important for our happiness and mental health.

 

Why we struggle with living in the moment

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Reposted from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/school-thought/202201/why-we-struggle-living-in-the-moment

It’s more than just soaking up the good moments

KEY POINTS

  • Being present in the moment requires a perfect blend of mindfulness and mindlessness.
  • Being present in the moment is a purposeful mindset.
  • There are steps you can take to improve mindfulness and feel more present.
  • Focusing on being present in both enjoyable and mundane moments is important for mindfulness.

After the holidays, it is easy to feel as though time flew by before you got the chance to stop and soak it all up. You might blame a brutal work schedule that dominated your holiday season or an insurmountable pile of stressors that stole away any chance of feeling truly present for the festivities. In reality, however, being present is something that is easier said than done, regardless of your schedule or stress level.

So why is something that sounds easy to do actually so difficult? Isn’t living in the moment supposed to happen organically? The truth is, not exactly.

Feeling present during daily life is something that many would consider synonymous with being mindful. Wherever You Go, There You Are, a book authored by Jon Kabat-Zinn, defines mindfulness as “paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.” This definition of mindfulness is widely used in research, and it highlights exactly what makes being present so difficult. Being present requires a purposeful, yet unforced, recognition of the moment for what it is, not for what we wish it were or what we think it can be. And, quite frankly, that’s a difficult balance to strike.

There are endless reasons why this perfect blend of mindfulness and mindlessness is so hard to find, but you can likely relate to at least one of these reasons:

  • You’re not used to slowing down and allowing your mind a break from productivity or planning ahead
  • You let small things feel bigger than they are and allow them to consume more mental energy than they deserve
  • You anticipate the end of a “good” moment before it is over and are letting the anticipation of the end interfere with your appreciation for the present moment.

Controlling the emotions that lead to any or all of the reasons listed above is where the purposeful part of being mindful comes in. Contrary to popular belief, being purposeful about mindfulness doesn’t equate to clearing your schedule or only doing things you enjoy; in fact, a study found that increased stress can actually boost mindfulness because of the level of awareness that stressful events require (Nezlek et al., 2016).

Rather, being purposefully present is a not matter of seeking out the perfect time to appreciate the current moment, such as during a holiday or on a vacation, but instead seeking out the imperfect times and acknowledging those too. It takes practice, but any good habit does.

There are many ways to help yourself feel more present through practices that boost mindfulness. Research shows that activities such as meditation, journaling, exercise, and talking with a psychologist can help you feel more mindful and learn to feel present in the moment (Xia et al., 2019), regardless of whether it is exciting or ordinary.

So instead of letting our mindfulness grow rusty as we await a rare oasis of joy, try choosing to see each moment as an opportunity to be present in the life you get to call your own.

Waiting to live in the moment until timing seems perfect might be the reason that you find those “perfect moments” during the holidays flying by. Being present isn’t supposed to be the reward that comes arrives at the end of a busy week or when life’s responsibilities miraculously declutter themselves for a day.

Being present is the result of choosing a mindful state of mind, even when you’d rather have your head buried in the sand. It is the daily choice to look around and make your existence purposeful in whatever form it may take.

References

Kabat-Zinn, Jon. (2016) “Part One: The Bloom of the Present Moment.” Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation for Everyday Life. Piatkus, London.

Nezlek, J. B., Holas, P., Rusanowska, M., & Krejtz, I. (2016). Being present in the moment: Event-level relationships between mindfulness and stress, positivity, and importance. Personality and Individual Differences, 93, 1-5. Doi:10.1016

Xia, T., Hu, H., Seritan, A. L., & Eisendrath, S. (2019). The Many Roads to Mindfulness: A Review of Nonmindfulness-Based Interventions that Increase Mindfulness. The Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, 25(9), 874-889. doi:10.1089

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