Podcast – We’re Beyond Stretched, Harvard Business Review

https://hbr.org/podcast/2020/04/were-beyond-stretched

• Feel like I can’t complain when others have it so much worse, so I swallow my pain
• Have to be there to support others
• Things like food prep for family and household tasks taken for granted or go wrong so end up doing it oneself
• The idea of boundaries is just that, an idea, not the reality
• Gender roles kick in, intensified, no escape
• Women’s work in the home is undervalued, remains out of whack
• Roles are often adopted early in the relationship and don’t seem to be renegotiated
• My work comes last, what about my career, my professional self?
• Expected to deliver at work, prove yourself over again
• Work was or can be the only place you feel competent, in control, making accomplishments
• Committed to a high standard, to the point of exhaustion
• Losing sleep, mental health impacted, self-care dropped, optimism lagging, feel the need to limit my feelings
• “Emotional labour” – uncertainty, pressure, all things to all people, patience is “whisper thin,” feel guilt for not showing up 100%, shame, overwhelmed, scattered, lack of focus, added burden of keeping track of others, inside and outside the home, literally hiding from children
• The days aren’t punctuated as they once were – commute, work, leisure, etc. – begin to blur together

Advice for individuals:

• Accept help when it is offered, avoid “superwoman” trap
• Focus on what you managed to get done, not what you didn’t get to
• Tell yourself “you are enough” – getting through the day, remembering to eat, managing to shower (Baking bread and making crafts is for the people that can manage it
• Challenge the status quo. Find ways to re-contract. This is all new, clean the slate and rebuild it

Advice for managers:

• Flexibility in hours of work and deadlines
• Don’t presume what others need or what they can do – ask the question
• Give permission to say no or not now – and ensure it’s real and won’t bite them later
• Make allowances for children and pets, don’t judge
• We are playing the long game; sustainability, employee engagement and loyalty are most important