Podcast – We’re Beyond Stretched, Harvard Business Review
https://hbr.org/podcast/2020/04/were-beyond-stretched
- Feel like I can’t complain when others have it so much worse, so I swallow my pain
- Have to be there to support others
- Things like food prep for family and household tasks taken for granted or go wrong so end up doing it oneself
- The idea of boundaries is just that, an idea, not the reality
- Gender roles kick in, intensified, no escape
- Women’s work in the home is undervalued, remains out of whack
- Roles are often adopted early in the relationship and don’t seem to be renegotiated
- My work comes last, what about my career, my professional self?
- Expected to deliver at work, prove yourself over again
- Work was or can be the only place you feel competent, in control, making accomplishments
- Committed to a high standard, to the point of exhaustion
- Losing sleep, mental health impacted, self-care dropped, optimism lagging, feel the need to limit my feelings
- “Emotional labour” – uncertainty, pressure, all things to all people, patience is “whisper thin,” feel guilt for not showing up 100%, shame, overwhelmed, scattered, lack of focus, added burden of keeping track of others, inside and outside the home, literally hiding from children
- The days aren’t punctuated as they once were – commute, work, leisure, etc. – begin to blur together
Advice for individuals:
- Accept help when it is offered, avoid “superwoman” trap
- Focus on what you managed to get done, not what you didn’t get to
- Tell yourself “you are enough” – getting through the day, remembering to eat, managing to shower (Baking bread and making crafts is for the people that can manage it
- Challenge the status quo. Find ways to re-contract. This is all new, clean the slate and rebuild it
Advice for managers:
- Flexibility in hours of work and deadlines
- Don’t presume what others need or what they can do – ask the question
- Give permission to say no or not now – and ensure it’s real and won’t bite them later
- Make allowances for children and pets, don’t judge
- We are playing the long game; sustainability, employee engagement and loyalty are most important
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