Notes from HBR podcast – “We’re Beyond Stretched”

Podcast – We’re Beyond Stretched, Harvard Business Review

Feel like I can’t complain when others have it so much worse, so I swallow my pain
Have to be there to support others
Things like food prep for family and household tasks taken for granted or go wrong so end up doing it oneself
The idea of boundaries is just that, an idea, not the reality
Gender roles kick in, intensified, no escape
Women’s work in the home is undervalued, remains out of whack
Roles are often adopted early in the relationship and don’t seem to be renegotiated
My work comes last, what about my career, my professional self?
Expected to deliver at work, prove yourself over again
Work was or can be the only place you feel competent, in control, making accomplishments
Committed to a high standard, to the point of exhaustion
Losing sleep, mental health impacted, self-care dropped, optimism lagging, feel the need to limit my feelings
“Emotional labour” – uncertainty, pressure, all things to all people, patience is “whisper thin,” feel guilt for not showing up 100%, shame, overwhelmed, scattered, lack of focus, added burden of keeping track of others, inside and outside the home, literally hiding from children
The days aren’t punctuated as they once were – commute, work, leisure, etc. – begin to blur together

Advice for individuals:

Accept help when it is offered, avoid “superwoman” trap
Focus on what you managed to get done, not what you didn’t get to
Tell yourself “you are enough” – getting through the day, remembering to eat, managing to shower (Baking bread and making crafts is for the people that can manage it
Challenge the status quo. Find ways to re-contract. This is all new, clean the slate and rebuild it

Advice for managers:

Flexibility in hours of work and deadlines
Don’t presume what others need or what they can do – ask the question
Give permission to say no or not now – and ensure it’s real and won’t bite them later
Make allowances for children and pets, don’t judge
We are playing the long game; sustainability, employee engagement and loyalty are most important